I was still crying sometimes with only a whimper while others as though in pain. I felt betrayed, violated, and completely degraded. The worst of it was she had always been my dearest friend and companion, but that was over, wasn’t it? To find out her true sexual preference and in such a disturbing way, how could I ever trust anyone again? Part of me felt I was at fault and part of me wanted to blame her for everything that was wrong with the world. How could I face her after what she did? I guess I better tell you everything from the beginning.
Sandy had been my closest, dearest, and best friend since I moved here five no six years ago from Detroit. We were always together in our junior and senior years of high school. We planned our classes together and studied our school work in her mom’s living room. Hell, I turned guys, some really cute popular guys, down for dates just to hang out with her! She never did anything like this or even made the slightest suggestion toward this when we were in high school, I swear.
Now, we were in our early twenties and I had dropped by for a short visit at her mom’s place only to have this disgusting thing happen. What will I do now? I could call it a misunderstanding like I did during my first year in college when I was date raped by a guy I had been out with a couple of times. I forgave him and we continued seeing each other with sex being the main activity. He honestly thought I wanted to enjoy him and I was a little drunk. He apologized for taking advantage and even offered to go to the police. He had been gentle and I was not a virgin. It was just unexpected and not really wanted.
Lying in bed sobbing, I kept going over the evening’s events in my mind wondering when she had decided that sex was consensual. Many people would probably say I was consenting even asking for it, but I never thought Sandy would take advantage or that she even liked sex with girls. We had looked at a couple of what the guys call bondage fuck books. They are magazines with naked models tied up in various arousing ways. I had seen some before and thought them interesting, but I never thought, gee, I want my best friend ever to do that, I mean have sex with me. This is very difficult to talk about with emotions that run from regret to anger and back and forth through your mind. Some how I should have expected that this would happen and yet I felt like I was in my safe zone and nothing bad or damaging could come from my dear friend.
Alright, maybe it will help me if I express all the bloody details so here it is. Yes, we did look at a couple of sexually explicit magazines and yes we talked about what this person might feel and how they might be excited by some one doing that to them. I discussed at length the guy eating the pussy of the model helplessly tied to the table. She seemed to really enjoy having her man sexually molest her while virtually unable to do anything either way about it. I really thought they were just models acting out an erotic scene to stimulate men or in our case women, not something I wanted to try myself and certainly not with a non-sexual friend.
Thinking about it, which I obviously did not do at the time, Sandy pointed out the girl on girl bondage and sex pictures. One of the girls was bound very tightly wearing only stockings and heels with the other girl fingering and kissing her, oh my god, pussy! I swear it never crossed my mind that she would want to do that to me. On the other hand, it was not like we were sitting at a desk in an office fully clothed at arms length. I was wearing a sweat shirt and cotton panties that were some what covering while Sandy was a little less modest. It is not like she was naked and after all we are old friends of the same gender, oh hell, I should have seen this. She wore some lingerie that was not labeled for mixed company. The top was a nylon bra thing in red and it had matching panties all covered rather sensuously in a red see through top stretching to just below the butt line. God, she was trying to turn me on and probably thought it worked!
Of course that is not the whole story, we drank a glass alright two of cheap Pinot Grigio as we looked at the models and talked about guys. Well, I thought we were looking at models doing weird things and talking about guys and how they react to sex. Maybe we were talking about girls and how I might enjoy sex with one. Really, one glass of wine and I am ready for any thing, but two and you got me baby. Only I didn’t think she would take me like that. Please give me a minute I have to cry, tremble, and feel sorry for myself.
Then we watched a video. It was BDSM sexually related and lesbian. I thought it was just stimulating entertainment. The idea of anyone doing such things to another person was just gross. I mean she strapped her to a wall and cut off every stitch of clothing then the girl beat her with a flogger and molested her to a wild climax. Really, that’s going to happen! Well, shit, it happened to me! Fuck, I feel so damn dumb, so damn betrayed, and so damn fucking violated I just don’t know what to do. I could talk to the police and have my best friend arrested and put in prison forever. Hell, I don’t want to do that to her or me.
I would and should never see her again but that would hurt as much as the sexual act. Hell, if I had not enjoyed it so much the decision would be simple.
I will be totally honest with you and myself. The pictures and porno video brought me to arousal. We were talking about what we had seen and I suggested it would be interesting to be tied up. Hell, I guess I did ask for it!
Getting out some rope she said, “Who wants to go first?”
“Me!”
“Turn around so I can tie your hands behind you and then your ankles. You will be my helpless captive. That’s the fun of it!”
I giggled doing as instructed. I really thought it was just in fun and that nothing sexual was involved. Then she produced the gag and the blindfold. It still seemed innocent. A few minutes past with me laying back on the bed tied with a few more turns of the nylon rope then fun required. She gently tickled my feet. I squirmed and shouted, but the gag muffled my protest and the bondage held me firm.
My sweat shirt was pulled quickly and forcefully over my head exposing my bare breasts sending shutters of panic through my soul. When her hand squeezed my breast, I tried to pull away as I screamed, but now the sweat shirt made my gagged cry even more muffled. As she pinched my nipple, she spoke into my ear, “Don’t bother trying to fake lack of consent. You’re my toy and you may as well enjoy it was much as I do.”
Sucking and chewing on my rock hard nipples while squeezing my breasts, she took advantage of her helpless victim. I was crying, but the feeling of sexual arousal could not be ignored. I think I had a short light climax just from the touch of her hand and mouth on my boobs. Rather than enjoy it, I felt horrible. Mostly because I felt guilty that I really wanted it, but could not bare the idea of being sexually stirred by an old friend. Sex had always been something I engaged in with lovers not friends. Let me make that clear. They were all male lovers!
Crying I went over in my mind what on earth I would do when she released me not even thinking that there was more. After sucking my nipples and kneading my breasts for a few minutes, she hooked her thumbs under the elastic band of my panties. I wiggled my hips and shook my head, but I imagine she misinterpreted my protest for excitement. My only other modest covering was quickly turned inside out then smoothly lowered to my bound ankles. There I was naked, bound, helpless, and vulnerable in front of her. She could do whatever she found sensual and enjoyable to my body for as long as she wished and hell, she did.
Guys are not so much into oral at least when it comes to delivering to women. Hell, most guys don’t really care if a girl gets off or not. They are just out to please themselves and don’t give a fuck about, well, what they fuck. Sandy was not most guys! She spent a long time working me over knowing that women need a lot more time then men. Her fingers began the stimulation and I have to say it was better then any guy had done before. It was her tongue that really threw me for a loop. It was so wild and yet I felt so violated that I really could not decide if I wanted it or hated it. If she had just been another woman, it would have been easier, but she was my friend and I needed a friend more than a lover. Lovers are sensual, cheap, and far easier to find and discard than a real friend. Excuse me, thinking about this causes tears to flow uncontrollably.
I can not say if it was the tonguing or the dragging of her teeth over my clit that set me off. It was so different then having a cock rammed up your cunt or even the tongue of a man. She certainly knew how to do the job which means she had experience. Guys you don’t care about, but girls are supposed to be pure or at the very least innocent. I could not help but think as I tried my best not to show enjoyment that she had done this to many others maybe even bound others. My climax was, shit, awesome making me feel as though I had failed. Yes, at least some of my tears, regret, and discomfort were from the guilt of enjoyment! Hell, how could I enjoy being sexually abused by my dearest friend? I felt so guilty like I was the pervert and wondered if Sandy felt any guilt at all!
I began to gently rub my cunt again hoping the discomfort and shame would turn to pleasure when there was a quiet knock at the door.
“Come it.” I was afraid it would be Sandy, not because she would be back for more, but because I did not know how to relate to her. It was her mother, who I always address as Mrs. Thompson.
“Linda, I would like to speak with you, if that’s alright.”
“Of course, please come in.”
“I know it is hard for you to believe, but Sandy feels as bad about what went on as you. It is probably as much my fault as hers. Since, her father died 3 years ago when she was in college we have had an inappropriate relationship. I mean we have had illicit sexual activities together. Sandy didn’t mean to hurt you, but I know you were not prepared for her what she did.”
I grabbed hold of Mrs. Thompson hanging on for dear life only wishing I had the nerve to hold Sandy in the same way. We both cried while holding each other for a long time before I finally spoke.
“I wish I knew how to fix this. I think of you both as family. I just don’t know what to do or how to do it.”
“I believe what you need is release, closure! You need to bring things back to an emotional balance. You feel you were violated by a close friend and you need to equal things out.”
Mrs. Thompson helped me to my feet and we walked into the other room together. I was out the door naked before I realized my immodesty, but continued to her family room. There I found Sandy naked, strapped down, blindfolded, and gagged. Her bottom was turned up, legs tight together, and bright red marks nearly glowed from a forceful beating. At first, I felt concern for her comfort and well being. Then her mother handed me the leather paddle and concern for my own emotional well being took over as I released my displeasure at Sandy’s expense. Most of the strikes left only red marks, but there were a few welts, and some blood. As I released my emotions, Sandy cried with me.
“When you finish with the blood letting, feel free to explore!”
How would you bring things back to balance?
What explorations would you make?
No, it would not change anything, but it might be fun!
Ever been sexually molested by a friend?
Want to talk about it?
Send your ideas to: b_d_s_m@HOTMAIL.COM
And remember, this is only fiction!
25.07.10