Part 6: Life and Loss
I woke with michael's hard cock deep inside of me, God how this makes me feel so good! There is no better way to wake in the morning!
I open my eyes; His own gaze widened as he saw the look in my emerald eyes. He knew, no words had to be said.
He pulled me tight to his own body and without removing his member from my love canal, turned us over so I was riding him. I took his hands and held them over his head and lightly slapped his crossed wrists. I might well have welded his hands together and to the bed at that point, because he knew by that small action not to separate or move those hands until I commanded it, and he was not going to disappoint me.
I played my nails across his chest, he would not make direct eye contact again until I instructed. It was hard on him, he loved to see the ecstasy on my face as we made love, but he knew the second he saw the look in my eye that I was in my full bitch-dom mood. He knew he was my toy at the moment, not my lover. He would be concentrating on holding himself back from ejaculating, unless I commanded it, he would hold back for my extended pleasure.
When I finally did get to the point where I wanted him to let loose, I was in the midst of a multi-orgasmic overload and I could not form the words to tell him. I manage to push up his chin and force him to look at me. My michael, my love, my property, he could read the order in my eyes. He pulsed in me as I collapsed onto his chest. I felt him wrap his arms around me, he knew, now was the time to release his hands from my imposed 'restraint'.
We did not need words; we were made for each other. Two lucky humans who just happened to be born and raised close enough to their soul mate to meet and connect, in our case we've known each other longer than either of us can remember.
When it came the traditional time for a male to be taught how to please a Female (around age 17), in poor and lower middle class homes, like we were both from, usually it is a close friend of the mother who teaches the son about intimacy. Proper training schools tend to be too expensive for our class, and it was starting to get to the point back then even, where even upper middle class could not afford it.
I was shocked when my Mother said Juliet Delanoe asked if I was willing to teach michael. I had for years wanted michael in bed with me, and it was just the year before that he had professed his own love for me.
"But Mom, what do I know about sexual pleasures?"
She took my hand, "You know what you do to make yourself feel good..."
"Mom!" I was mortified that my Mother was talking about my masturbating, my little Sister Mandy was just in the next room!
"Justine, show him the areas of your body that make you feel good, experiment a little with him, let nature lead you both. He's learned the basics at school this year, he just needs practical experience. I don't have the time and Juliet wants you to do it anyway." She smiled at me. "You know you want him, you will surely score points with Juliet if you do this for her, it might help her with deciding who to turn ownership over to, don't forget he becomes eligible next year." I was hooked, set-up by my own mother, in cahoots with Juliet Delanoe I later learned, with bait they knew I could not refuse.
The first night, the night we both lost our virginity to another person, was magical, I doubt Mrs. Delanoe or michael's father tony got any sleep themselves.
michael just hit every erogenous zone on me perfectly, even ones I did not know I had at the time.
During the rest of his 'training' hardly any words were said between us, a simple look or gesture was all he needed to know where I needed him.
Going on ten years later and we still have that connection.
"Good morning Milady."
"Yes it is boy. But you may not agree later!"
He wearily smiled at me, he knew, the bitch-dom was only temporarily satisfied, that she wanted to take the boy down to the punishment room and tease him until he begged to be allowed to please her.
I did not get in these moods often, but when I did michael always made me proud of him.
I heard the door open behind us; I did not even need to turn back and look. "What is it elizabeth!" I growled. My female property was the only one else who could be at the door. She knows better than even enter my bedroom before michael or I leave it in the morning.
"Miss Justine, forgive me, but my water broke!"
michael was still semi-conscious in post-coital bliss, it took a moment until it sunk in what she said, than both michael and I shot up from the goddess size bed (back in the old days they were called king size) and rushed to get dressed.
"michael get Juli ready and grab the go bag! I'll get lizzie ready and meet you at the van."
michael had the van out, engine running, and Juli in her car seat by the time I got liz outside.
He helped her up and into the back seat when I saw his Identicollar on his neck. My good boy did not forget his collar, and likely also made sure he was wearing his Genital Device. But I on the other hand had completely forgotten liz's. "michael, go in and get..."
"Her Identicollar is on the other side of Juli; I'll put it on her on the way."
"No michael, you're driving, I'll stay in the back with lizzie."
liz's jaw dropped as she stared at me in shock, and I'm sure michael was doing the same behind me. males did not normally drive unless they were trained professional drivers for limos or taxis, and they were restrained to their seat and closely monitored. Very few males outside of driving professions or police enforcers even had licenses.
"I'll walk please!" liz laughed
"Miss Justine I can't..."
"liz shut up! michael you know how, I taught you just for this kind of situation. Just don't break any laws... or hit anybody."
We soon were on the way; if we did get pulled over I would have to open one of the side doors to explain what was going on. The van, and the other automobiles we owned, came with the house; the van specifically was used previously to transport uncooperative males from their homes to the Judge's punishment room and therefore had darkened windows all about it. Fortunately michael was extra safe with his precious cargo aboard and we made it to the hospital without issue and turned the van over to a valet at the entrance to the emergency ward. She was shocked to take the keys from a male.
In the Birthing Center waiting room michael was pacing back and forth, and it was driving me crazy. I shifted Juli to my other shoulder. "Were you this nervous when I had Juli?"
"I do not remember, I think Miss Amanda had a nurse give me a tranquilizer... or three."
"HA! That does sound like something she'd do!"
Juli started wiggling about to look at michael, and stretched out her arms in his direction. "daddy hold!"
michael took her from me and sat down next to me. "Two years old and she's got you wrapped around her little finger already! So help me if you side with her in one Mother-Daughter argument you'll spend the rest of your life in the room."
He smiled at me. "You're just jealous you did not have this level of control of me until we were 18!"
"boy, I had absolute control of you a lot longer than you will admit. Remember when I told you to go into the old Windmere House to get my frisbee when we were twelve. You didn't care it was 'haunted' or condemned. I told you go and you went."
"And stepped on a rusty nail ten feet in. Oh Mother was mad at me! When I proudly told her I did it because you told me to, she got all the more mad and asked me if someone told me to jump from the roof if I would do it? I told her if it was Miss Justine I would! dad just shook his head and walked away. He mumbled something about being glad that these conversations where no longer the man's responsibility"
"But you got my frisbee back. And you got a kiss from me as a reward."
"And a tetanus shot! Which at that age, both were about the same level of trauma." He laughed.
"You man!" I playfully slapped his face.
"Momma, lithie hurt?"
"No baby, lizzie is having your little baby Sister or brother."
She smiled. "Me Sista?"
"Miss Solomon?" There was a Doctor in the doorway.
"Yes, that's me."
"Can you come back please? elizabeth wants to see you."
michael perked up "Has she had the baby?"
"No, not yet. Is he safe to leave here alone with a child? I can have a nurse or guard brought in."
"michael is fine Doctor. Our Daughter is completely safe in his hands and he isn't going anywhere."
She led me down the hall. "Ma'am there has been a complication, elizabeth's heart rate has become erratic and her pulse has weakened dramatically. We don't know why, but we could lose her and/or the baby if we don't take the baby now."
"Then what are we doing talking about it?"
"We needed your permission and she insisted on talking to you before we did anything."
She opened the door and there was lizzie splayed open before me. "Milady! Please save my baby!"
"Of course lizzie, you know..."
"Miss Justine please promise me you will raise my baby as your own. I don't think I'm going to make it!"
"liz you will be fine girl."
"Please Justine!!!"
The fear in her eyes was something I will never forget. "I will, you are a member of my family, your child is also my step-child. If anything happens she or he will be taken care of properly, you know michael will not allow it any other way."
She smiled weakly at me. "Thank you Milady."
We were moved to the operating room a few moments later. I stayed next to liz the whole time, talking to her telling her it will be alright. She held my hand tight, and kept reminding me of my promise.
I was praying that the baby came out fine, both michael and lizzie would be devastated if it didn't survive. Then I heard the baby cry! liz squeezed my hand all the more tighter begging me with her eyes.
"Miss Solomon, elizabeth has given birth to a healthy baby boy!"
They brought him over to me, and I held him only for a moment. The child was legally mine, but I knew where he really belonged, nestled to his natural mother.
As liz held her firstborn child I smiled at her.
"He is beautiful, my son." She said to no one in particular.
"Do you have a male name picked out?"
"I can pick the name?"
"We went over this girl, I may be the legal Mother, but he is your biological child, I won't take that away from you."
"I did have only two I thought of for a male, but I fear you will reject both."
The staff was working around us still trying to get lizzie's system straight. "Try me."
"I want to name him for his father, but I will understand if you want to save that privilege for your own son, the other is ryan after my male."
Both had special meaning to her, and to michael, as ryan had also been a good friend of his. "michael junior it is then, but the next of us to have a son will name him ryan."
"Oh thank you Miss Justine! But I fear my chances... of... hav..."
I saw her go limp and grabbed the baby, just as the medicos pushed me away to work on liz.
I found michael and Juli outside the nursery window, my little Girl saw me first. "Momma, lithie baby!" She proudly patted her own chest "Sista" She looked at me for a second and held out her arms to me "Momma hold." The sadness in her eyes told me she knew. Damn! If I can't keep it from a toddler how was I going to keep it from the male who knew me inside and out?
michael turned to give me Juli; we locked eyes and the pride that was on his face disappeared. Just like when I had to tell him about his Mother, he knew, the second our eyes met the critical information passed from me to him without as much as a syllable leaving my mouth.
"How?"
"They don't know yet baby, they think it was something with her heart."
And just like with his Mother, I could see he wasn't going to hold himself together, I closed the gap between us and took him in my arms just as the tears rolled down his face. He looked back at the window to their son. "Did she at least..."
"Yes, she held him. And she named him michael junior. But I think we will call him mikey for now."
He buried his face in the side of my neck. "This should have been a happy day for her, for all of us!"
"Honey, I know it's of little comfort, but she was happy, she knew something was wrong, she was happy her baby was fine and would have us as parents."
"It's not right Miss Justine. She just wanted to love and be loved."
"I know boy. And we gave it to her. Now is not the time for regret and sorrow. Your son, our son needs us. We will mourn later. Would you like to hold your son now?
He kissed my neck and pulled back. "Yes, I need to do that."
"daddy messy!"
He did look like hell. "Go clean up michael, you should look your best when you meet your son."
We spent the rest of the day with little mikey, michael brightened a little more each hour. Juli was proud to be a big sister and made sure to tell every person that this was her 'babybruda'.
By the time we left Juli was asleep in her father's arms. When we got home michael tucked Juli into her bed as I prepared a nice hot shower for the two of us. michael was silent the whole time. He was not himself, almost mechanical.
I dismissed him to bed, and finished drying and brushing my long red hair without his help. God I forgot how hard that was without him.
He was waiting for me in bed; I slid into bed next to him and was immediately wrapped up in his arms. "Good night Miss Justine."
I kissed him. "Good night boy, I love you."
"I love you too Milady. Sorry if I seem out of sorts, this is all a bit much for my simple mind to grasp."
"It's okay honey, I understand. Wake me up at normal time, just a wake up, no morning fun; I don't think either of us will really be in the mood."
"Yes my lovely Lady"
I laid there waiting for his soft snoring to start before I allowed myself to sleep.
In the morning I woke to an empty bed. I look to the clock to see it is just past 8 and michael's dream journal is open in front of it.
8?! michael should have got me up an hour ago!
I get out of bed and throw on a nightgown. He must have woke up sometime last night, wandered off and fell asleep again. I thought about his dream journal. I usually don't read it unless he or Cherish say I should, but with it sitting open on the night stand I decided today was a good day to check.
I had a very bad dream tonight. We took liz to deliver the
baby and there were complications. The baby survived (a boy!)
but liz did not! It was very unpleasant; I was not handling it well,
and Miss Justine was being very understanding.
I felt lost, scared. How was I going to take care of Miss Justine,
a baby, a toddler, and a big home without liz.
I think I will go check in on liz before waking Miss Justine, just so it
is out of my mind while we make love.
I walked down the hall, I checked Juli's room; my little red haired angel was asleep still. I had hoped michael was there too.
I went to the next room, liz's room; I could hear him just on the other side of the door. I opened the door to see him kneeling next to her bed. He turned to me tears down his face. "It wasn't a dream Miss Justine! Please tell me it was all a bad dream!"
I got down next to him and took him in my arms "I can't sweetie, I wish I could. I'm sorry."
We sat like that for several minutes. The biggest problem with such gentle sweet males is always the emotional attachments, to you, the children, and in this case other property. But in my opinion, I would rather deal with a male crying on my shoulder, then having to punish one for being mannish.
I led him back to our room and sat on the ornate couch in the corner. I made him look at me person to person. "michael, be strong for me, for Juli and mikey too. We all need you dear. We must move past this, continue living. We can't let the past cripple us."
"I know, but it is just... I don't know, such a shock to me, one day she is here happily waiting the baby, the next she is gone. I do not even remember saying a word to her yesterday. What kind of a mate am I that I did not even wish the mother of my child good luck when she went to deliver?"
"michael you were there holding her hand right up to the door to the obstetrics department, when they had to make you let go. You didn't need words, you were telling her through touch."
"Jay! Get out of bed already! We're here." My sister's voice came from the intercom, interrupting the conversation.
I walked over to the wall mounted device. "Obviously, we'll be down shortly, my alarm didn't go off this morning."
"Last time your alarm didn't go off it was because he was in my bed."
My sister Amanda looked like my younger clone, but had a bad habit of being crass around family. She was still a gentle, loving person otherwise just had no manners in private. "Just go make yourselves some coffee Em. Now's not the time."
"Sorry Jay, I wasn't thinking. See you two in a few minutes."
I turned back to the couch and michael was gone! He didn't go out the door. Where is he?
"Is this outfit fine for you Milady?" michael said as he came out of the walk in closet. This is the boy I love, anticipating my needs.
"Fine michael, get yourself dressed and rouse Juli."
"Your coffee is on the table Ma'am. Miss Amanda asked me to make your breakfast."
"Thank you carlos. Good Morning kiddo" I gave my sister's male a peck on the cheek.
carlos was Mandy's little project. Her hurt puppy, nursed back to health.
He was born into a household of a pair of elitist Lesbian Citizen Females, who owned and tolerated a male each as household slaves. They used artificial insemination to get pregnant to have a child by one of their males. Unfortunately they only wanted Female children, and abused the child horribly for not being a Female. When he was 16 his father went to the MCB when the Mother and her partner decided to illegally castrate the poor boy because they did not want to be responsible for the birth of another useless male to society. All three males were immediately removed from the home.
Mandy had just started interning at the shelter as a Social Worker. carlos feared all Females at the time, but my sister seemed to be able to reach out to him. They grew close; eventually she petitioned the state for ownership, and the reviewers decided she was likely the best chance he had for an emotionally normal life. They are not in true love like michael and I, but what they have is close. More of a mutual admiration. He still has much distrust for most Females (myself and our Mother excluded, we have earned his respect), but at least he is no longer frozen with fear every time he leaves the home.
I sat down where my 'World's BEST Owner' mug was, across from my sister.
"Morning Sis, how is my michael doing? And you of course too!"
Worded to bait me, not today Sis. Normally we would banter about how Amanda had (or maybe yet has) a crush on michael. michael had taken her virginity at our Mother's request. Better a male she knows and loves, then a cold lifeless stimulator device.
"Me; Fine for the most part. michael; He has taken it all pretty hard. He has survivor's guilt. He had himself convinced it was all a bad dream when he woke up. Even wrote it down in the journal. Then he went to see her before waking me, and he went downhill from there."
"Oh, Justine I'm sorry. Here I am trying to be normal and all."
"Like you could ever be normal Miss Amanda. But that is what I love about you." carlos put a plate of eggs and toast in front of me. "Is michael coming down soon?"
"Right behind you kid. Make sure you properly clean up my good pan when you are done with the eggs. Look who is here Juli."
"Aunt Mandy!"
"Hey sweetie, ready to spend the day with me and carlos?"
She frowned and looked at me. "brudda?"
Mandy came around the table and took Juli from michael. "Later today you and I will go see him, unless he comes home with Mommy and daddy. Okay?"
With an exaggerated nod of her head Juli smiled and said "Okay!"
carlos brought out michael's plate. "Sus huevos papay."
"Gracias carlos. That is the correct word?"
"Yes michael, very good. Now eat up we need to leave."
I finished first since I had already been eating. I signaled Mandy to follow me out.
"The van keys are in the cabinet next to the kitchen door, I'm taking the car."
"Is Mom coming in to see him today?"
"Doesn't want to at all. Her Irish temper is still holding a grudge against liz and has extended it to her offspring. She said some stuff I would rather forget."
"Does that surprise you?"
"No, but I would hope by now she would be more accepting."
"What did you once tell me; she's new wave-old school."
"Yeah new standards with old philosophies." We laughed for a moment. "Any problems call me."
"We'll be fine Jay. Right Squirt?"
Juli just smiled and played with Mandy's shoulder length hair.
michael came to the living room doorway "Miss Justine are we almost ready?"
"Yes dear, I just need to get my Notepad and the car seat in case we need it."
I kissed Juli. "Be a good Girl, and you will see baby mikey." She squealed in delight. "Say your goodbyes michael and get out the car." I was almost out the door and turned to my Sister, "Goodbye doesn't include removing his genital device."
She stuck out her tongue "Party pooper!" An action Juli imitated.
michael gave my Sister a scowl "Juliet! Be a good Girl; tell Aunt Amanda she is bad for teaching you unladylike behavior."
She promptly stuck her tongue out at my Sister "Bad Aunt Mandy." I walked away before I burst out laughing
I could hear Mandy giggling, followed by the exasperation in michael's voice down the hall; "Just give daddy a kiss Sweetheart. I swear I don't know how Mimi has any red hair left after raising these two."
When we arrived at the hospital there were two Females arguing with the guard at the nursery's security desk. I directed michael to the side to set down his burden and we took seats while waiting to sign in.
The Female raved at the Guard; "Look bitch, I'm just here to pick up my Sister's child, she's feeling sick today. You have a letter she signed authorizing the release."
"Sorry Ma'am we can only release to the parent, child services, or MCB Social"
Just then a burly male, that was obviously a security enforcer, entered from the security door. "Ma'am, you requested me."
"Yes alan, Please remove Miss Solomon and her companion from the building."
michael and I looked at each other. I blurted out; "But we just got here! What did we do?"
All eyes turned to us. And I realized she was not referring to the two of us. The two Females ran for the door, closely followed by the enforcer.
The Female guard was talking into her radio, ordering all exits to be closed and giving a description of the offending Females.
"Miss Justine Solomon?" I nod my head. "I am guessing neither of those Females are your Sister."
"Not even close. My only Sister is at my home with my Daughter."
"You will understand if I require both of your IDs?"
I hand over my driver's license, "Of course." At my signal michael leans down and pulls out his collar to be scanned.
We spent the rest of the morning in relative silence, basically only talking to the baby. Then michael hit me with a question I had not really thought of much since early on in liz's pregnancy.
"Milady, what will you have mikey call you?"
"Well to be honest I was originally thinking we would have him call me Mommy Justine or Aunt Justine, I wanted to discuss it with lizzie after the baby was born. I wanted the baby to know lizzie was her or his true mommy, and have that special connection with her." I walked over and took him from michael; my eyes started tearing up a little. I sat on michael's lap and leaned into him as he reached around us. "I will be his Mommy, but I want... need him to know about his real mother. michael look me in the eyes; I promised lizzie I will raise the baby as my own, and I will, with all the same love I provide to Juli. It was my promise to liz, and now my promise to you. But he should not be denied the knowledge of his true Maternal heritage either."
"Yes my lovely Owner."
I gave him a deep kiss; I could feel him holding himself back. He was not letting himself flow into me as normal. "What's wrong boy?"
"I... I'm not sure Milady; I just don't feel like myself. Forgive me."
Two contractions in one sentence! Unheard of from the male who prides himself on speaking properly, as he was taught males should speak. Occasionally michael has let one slip, especially if he is tired or upset, but I can't remember him ever using two in the same conversation.
"It's okay, the last two days have been hard. It's understandable."
"Thank you Miss Justine."
That afternoon was a flurry of activity. Mandy arrived with Juli, deciding to leave carlos at my house to prepare a dinner, much to michael's chagrin (he hated anyone cooking in 'his' kitchen but he and liz). The Doctors declared mikey fit and released him to my care. And in the midst of it all, I made arrangements for liz's funeral.
We had a basic service three days later, the Alphons and Hodlar clans made a pass at the viewing but did not stay, or come to the cemetery. When liz's birth family had come through michael was on edge especially when the Judge came through with her Granddaughter Mary. He held the children close and practically cowered behind me. I realized it was the first time he had come face to face with the Female that had arranged his prison rape, and I kicked myself for not expecting and planning for this occurrence. Fortunately Adrianne and Doctor Johvon had; they swooped in to spirit the three of them away so michael could get himself composed. We had seen a few of the people from our old building, but not many. Several of our old neighbors had been alienated by liz when it was revealed that she had been the one who made false claims against their males as she had with michael.
She was buried under her birth name, next to her ryan. The cemetery director said I could have had the headstone modified to reflect that she was my property. I declined having her name changed. As far as I was concerned in her death she was freed from my ownership, but I did have them add the word 'Mother' under her name.
In the days following Mandy and carlos went home and I took a few days off from my work to spend bonding as a family. I extended the cleaning contract from the service I had hired during liz's last trimester. While michael was not keen on stranger's in our home, he had admitted he could not handle it all himself with having two young children to care for also.
Our love life was suffering. michael went through the motions for my sake, but his heart was not in it. He would bring me to climax and quit. One night I decided to play on michael's hosiery fetish. I had him go to bed, and I changed into sexy lingerie with stockings and a garter belt. It felt so good to dress like this again for him, it had been way too long since I seduced my boy. I peeked in on him and he was lying in bed with his back towards me. I crept up on him and pounced.
There was the briefest struggle until michael saw that I was his attacker. Then I was quickly on top of him, my bare crotch pressed down on him, I had my knees to the outside of his legs, and my feet to the inside so he would have no choice but to feel the stocking next to his skin. I leaned in and pressed my breasts against him, dragged his hands up to the base of the headboard and slapped them.
He had this dreamy look in his eyes. "Ooohhh Miiiilady!"
I slid repeatedly over his penis and felt it harden beneath me. I reached down and aimed him into my hole and impaled myself on him. Oh this felt so good! He hasn't been this hard in me since that day.
I was pushing him over the edge I could feel it as the muscles in his body stiffened. He opened his eyes and looked at me as his panic set in. I felt him go soft in me and for the first time I can ever remember michael removed his hands unexpectedly from where I slapped them down earlier.
"No, I'm sorry, I can't" He rolled me off of his lap onto the bed.
I was furious! "Down to the room now! I will take care of you as soon as I change."
He looked at me in shock, but slinked away without a word.
I walked in to the punishment room wearing my terry cloth robe and scanned the room for michael. I found him secured into the self-closing stocks. He knew he was in trouble and trying to show his submission.
I grabbed a paddle from the wall and let a flurry of swats across his exposed ass. He did little more than whimper with each hit. He was not going to insult me by begging for mercy. My arm tired and I dropped the paddle to the floor. I pressed the button that released him from the device and dragged him over to a stock table, which could hold him flat on his back or stomach, and locked him in face-up. He did not resist in the slightest, he knew better.
I grabbed the bag I brought with me from the bedroom and emptied it on his chest. "Do you know what this is?"
"The clothes you were wearing in bed."
"No, they were the clothes I put on for you! I wanted to make love to you! I wanted it special for you! I wanted to feel your pleasure meld with my own! And you keep denying me your sperm. Why?"
"Milady..." I slapped him.
"That term is reserved for my lover; you are not that male anymore! You are a sperm donor!" That hurt him deeply. I could see it in the quiver of his lip. "Now answer me!" The tears started flowing from him.
"Miss Justine I am sorry! I am afraid!"
"Oh you are going to have plenty to be afraid of!"
I gagged him with a ball, and proceeded to mount him. I rode him hard, talking nasty and rubbing myself against him. I was going to have him cum if it killed me, or him.
I saw it in his face as he passed the point of no return; I felt the viscous liquid pass into me. Finally! The two orgasms I had while building him to this point had drained my anger so I leaned over to kiss my male over his gag when I saw he was crying his eyes out.
I popped the ball from his mouth. He turned his head away, refusing to make eye contact. "Why? I love you more than anything! Why did you do it?"
I stared at him, dumbfounded by his reaction when it dawned on me what had just happened; in my anger I raped him. He was not a willing participant, he was a victim. My victim! He was raped again, but this time it was not some violent strangers in a maximum security prison cell, it was by the one person he trusted the most, the one he relied on to take care of him. I betrayed his trust in me.
Whatever his reasoning for holding back on me, he of all people did not deserve this, not from anyone, and especially not from me! "What have I done?"
I got off of him, released his arms, leaving it to him undo his own legs, and I just ran from the room. I wasn't even halfway to the stairs when I stumbled and ended up in a crying heap in the hall, unable to make myself even stand.
I don't even know how long I was there when I saw michael's shadow fall over me. I half expected him to keep on going, or to be kicked as he passed. Instead he knelt down and took me in his arms. "It is okay Mil... Owner. I am here; you will be alright, I will take care of you."
I am confused, why is he being protective of me? He lovingly caresses me, and kisses my cheek.
He picked me up and carried me all the way to the Mistress Bedroom and tucked me in. I cried myself to sleep as he sat on the bed looking at me and holding my hand.
When I woke up in the morning, it was before the alarm was set to go off, so michael was still asleep. He was holding me tight, but I managed to get loose without waking him. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and wished I hadn't. I looked like hell warmed over. My eyes were bloodshot and I had bags under them that you could carry a cell phone in.
michael was still asleep in bed when I returned to the bedroom; I turned the clock off a few minutes before it was set to ring. I pulled the baby monitor from beside his head, he had the volume at its lowest setting so he could hear it but it would not disturb me. Today I would be his alarm clock as he has been for me all these years.
Was this a good idea? I just raped him last night, would he be further traumatized?
I decided I would render oral service. It was something I have rarely done with michael myself, but had ordered lizzie to do it often to him. Just a little something that reminded them both that he was superior to her. Something for his enjoyment only, and at her expense, especially when she was still in forced celibacy
After last night michael deserved it, he has always treated me with love and respect, even trying to ensure I got my jollies even if he was not in the mood for whatever the reason, my abusing him like that was the ultimate betrayal of his love.
I pulled back the blanket, ever so gently so as not to disturb him. There was his little friend semi-hard in its morning needs. I took it in and began. I watched the smile form on his face and his man instincts kicked in and his hands grasped the sides of my head as he began speeding up my motions. Then his hands stopped my movement completely, his eyes jerked open and locked onto mine. He was shocked that it was my head he held. Then his fear crossed between us, he was wondering how I got in that position, and why he was doing it to me. He feared retribution. I smiled as best I could, relaying with my eyes that all was good as I overcame his hold to keep up with my mission.
He stared down at me in awe and love, I conveyed my apologies, and he answered there was no need. All this, without a sound other than the air and moisture passing between my lips and his cock. I knew then our love was still intact, despite my actions last night. His eyes telegraphed his impending ejaculation, and he tried pulling my head free of his cock to spare me the indignity, but I would not relent, I took his full load and swallowed as much as I could.
"Milad..." He frowned. "Forgive me, Miss Justine, what was that for?"
"Milady is fine boy; I crossed a line last night that I should have never even approached, regardless of my anger and frustration. I'm sorry I should never have taken you against your will. This was me making amends."
"It was not that it was against my will, I always want to be making love to you, and you have every right to take me whenever, however you want. It is just... I don't know how I can explain it correctly; I don't want to kill you."
"What?"
"I am afraid if you get pregnant I will kill you too."
"michael, is this about what happened to liz?"
"Yes, I killed her, I got her pregnant and it killed her, I killed your property, my own property-sister, the mother of my son! I do not deserve pleasure. Especially if it can cause a repeat of those events with the most important Female in my life."
"michael your impregnating liz did not kill her."
"She died giving birth to a child I sired, I am responsible." He was starting to cry.
"A previously undiagnosed heart condition killed her. It only becomes apparent while the sufferer was in stress. Because it happened during labor, which is an extended period of extreme stress, there was little time to find out the cause. It was a genetic time bomb in her waiting for the opportunity to go off. A good argument with someone would have triggered it, but it likely would have been a shorter experience and let to her being checked by a Doctor."
"Oh dear, all those times Mother Alli got her worked up, she complained about being out of sorts..." Fear dawned on my male's face, as he connected the dots I had drawn for him. "Wait genetic? Does that mean... mikey?"
"Maybe, but we know about the possibility and I will have him tested when he is older to verify. He may need surgery if the condition was passed to him, and he will get it if it is deemed medically necessary. And those incidents with liz probably were signs of the condition, but they were not severe enough to cause worry in her or us."
"I am sorry Milady, I caused you such distress. I should have told you my fears. Instead I just made you feel neglected. I was selfish, I deserved much harsher punishment"
"michael, I am as much to blame as you, I should have explained what I was told about liz's death sooner. I was actually waiting until you snapped out of your odd mood to tell you." I looked at him and kissed him deeply. "I should have talked to you about your feelings. Maybe I am not worthy of being your owner."
michael grabbed my wrists and rolled me over onto my back. He looked down at me as he straddled my body. I was stunned by his sudden aggressiveness. "Miss Justine, please do not ever talk that way, you are more than just my owner."
"michael..." He placed a finger on my lips.
"You ARE the one who I was, I am, destined to be with. With you, my Justine, it is a union, a joining of spirit that none can compare. I am not mere property to you, no more than you are an average Owner to me. If you are unworthy to be my Owner, I do not want my life to continue, because I cannot imagine being owned by another Female."
"Thank you michael. After what I did last night, I needed to hear that." I rolled us over to get him on his back and kissed him. He melted into me, but he was still hesitant, and he tried hiding the scared look in his eyes. "Go and wake our children, then make us breakfast. Bagel and cream cheese for me. I'll be down shortly."
When I could hear michael over the baby monitor, I dialed the number written on the back of the business card michael kept in his dream journal. The call went straight to voice mail, not surprising for this early in the morning. "Doctor Johvon, this is Justine Solomon. You told me to call if michael was still not acting like himself by tomorrow, well after I made a foolish mistake, I think I had a breakthrough with him this morning, but I don't think he has completely come out of the funk. Call me on my work line, when you can, and we can talk about it more in depth and you can advise me what I should do from here. Thanks."
Time for me to get dressed and act as if nothing is wrong, with any luck I will pull it off better than michael.
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03.02.14
story continues in Revenge 7: Deceptions
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