I appreciate being able to read such interesting stoies on your website. Here is a portion of a letter I wrote to a friend about something that actually happened to me, and I thought you might like to use it. You have my permission to post it if you think it would be appropriate.
Normally, I'm not quite this into the painful aspects of s&m, more just the d&s, but I've done scenes with Lori before and she seems very aware of my limits and I trust her not to do anything to hurt me permanently.
I stopped with two of my friends to have some wings & beer after work one evening, and Lori was hanging out at the bar when we got there. Lori is about 10 years younger than I am, and is a beautiful Korean girl with long, wavy black hair. She's a bit more bi than I am - she really doesn't care whether people are male or female, she just likes attractive people to dominate. It's really funny when you see her - she's only 5 feet tall and about 95 pounds, even smaller than me, so you wouldn't guess she could be so dominant unless you saw her in action. She's SO in shape, though, and I'd Love to have her body.
We talked a little while, and I told my friends I was going to let Lori drop me off later. We left, and when we got in the parking garage, Lori grabbed my wrist and twisted my arm behind my back, HARD! I kind of snapped "Hey" at her (I was actually a little annoyed at her doing that where someone I might know would see her), but she had already clicked a pair of handcuffs on that wrist and was pulling my other back. Well, just that much just made me instantly wet, and she really twisted on my arm so hard that it hurt when I tried to pull away from her. I always wear heels to work (and since I'm barely over 5 feet without them, I wear 4" heels), and Lori was just dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt, so she had tennis shoes on. She had me handcuffed in no time, and it just took my breath away!! She grabbed my hair and just pushed me in the car and fastened my seat belt, then gave me a huge, forceful kiss and said, "You are my bitch tonight".
She walked around the car and got in, and I just kind of laughed at her game while we drove to my apartment. She didn't say anything all the way home, but I knew that she was about to try her little domination game again when we got there. When we parked in the garage of my townhouse, she got a little bag out of the trunk, and escorted me upstairs.
That's when things got alot rougher than I'd ever gone (with a woman, anyway). She pushed me down on the floor hard, and sat on my back. It really hurt - I was PMS'ing anyway, and all the weight on my boobs really hurt. I starting complaining a little, just to let her know that I was in some pain (so she wouldn't accidentally hurt me), but she didn't get off until she had taken a rope out of the bag and tied my elbows behind me. I like that:) - my elbows will almost touch together - but I can't stay tied like that very long, because my shoulders hurt and my hands start to go numb. She tied my feet together - tight! and looped some rope between them, and cinched up the ropes to make it even tighter.
"Ow, why so tight??" I said, in kind of a bitchy tone. She just rolled me over, and slapped me really hard, then backhanded me the other way! It kind of stunned me for a second, then the PMS took over and I started yelling at her. "Ow, that really fucking hurt! You're going to break my eardrum, you stupid fucking bitch!! What the hell is wrong with you???"
That wasn't the smartest thing I'd done, but she'd never acted like that before, and I've never been very submissive under any circumstance. She still didn't say anything, but it looked like she was getting red in the face. She grabbed me and rolled me onto my stomach again, then took off the handcuffs. I thought she was got mad at me and was going to turn me loose without doing anything else. I didn't want her to do that, I just wanted to take it easier.
I just got the words, "Look, I didn't mean to be so loud, but.." then I realized that she had just taken the cuffs off so she could tie my hands with rope. I tried to stop her, which was kind of stupid, since my elbows were almost touching behind me. She tied them together in no time, and pulled the rope as tight as she could, which worried me alot. She had tied me up before, and I knew that she was skilled enough to tie my hands securely without making them that tight. "Lori, no! Get ahold of yourself, you're going to hurt me" i said, but she just put a cinch rope on them and pulled that tight also. I mean, I couldn't even move wrists around in the rope at all.
I just knew what was coming next, but I still wasn't prepared for how ferocious she was. She tied a rope to my feet and pulled them up to my hands. I was laying facedown, and Lori pushed my feet toward my wrists, wasn't satisfied with how tight the rope was (it would slip a little looser when she started to tie the knot), so she SAT on top of my feet to hold them right against my hands until she tied them fast. She got off me, and I kind of panicked. I mean, my elbows were touching, my hands were tied more tightly than I'd ever had them tied before then, and I was arched into a hell of a hog tie. I can't remember all what I said, but I do remember screaming at her "You goddammed fucking bitch, you know I can't take this, you fucking untie me right now, RIGHT NOW! YOU ARE SO FUCKED WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO CUNT".
She just turned me on my side, and pushed a huge dildo gag in my mouth, then buckled it behind my head. You can't imagine how humiliating that is for me – my ex-husband used to force me to suck his cock, and I swore I would never have another cock in my mouth again. When she finished, she wrestled me up and positioned me so that I was in a kind of kneeling position, sitting on my feet. I was still fully clothed (if a bit disheveled) in my work clothes – a nicely tailored black skirt and silky t-shirt.
Well, she grabbed my top and yanked it as hard as she could, mostly ripping it off. That pissed me off enough, but instead of just unhooking my bra, she took scissors from her bag and cut it through the middle!! That was a fucking 45 dollar Victoria's Secret push-up bra, and she just cut it off like it was a piece of trash!!!
I couldn't do much more than grunt, but I showed her what I thought of that bullshit with my eyes. That's when she just started unloading on me. I mean, she backhanded me hard in the face, and just starting slapping my boobs as hard as she could, over and over! And she was yelling, "DON'T YOU EVER DISRESPECT ME EVER AGAIN! YOU WILL NOT TREAT ME LIKE SOME COMMON STREET SLUT, EVER EVER AGAIN" And she was punctuating this with breast slaps, and trembling and crying while she did it!
I thought she lost it. I was trying to scream, and making a fair amount of noise in spite of the gag, because I truly was trying to get someone's attention to call the police or anything. She stopped attacking me, took a roll of duct tape out of the bag, and started taping over the cock-gag, sealing the edges, and taping over the breathing hole so that I could only breath through my nose. I hurt all over so bad, and I was still balancing on my knees and feet in that kneeling position, and all the struggling I had done was making me very winded. I was just holding still, and trying to catch my breath, when she went to my bedroom and brought back my own set of Japanese clover clamps. I don't know how much you know about these, but they hurt like the fires of hell when you leave them on more than a few seconds. Plus, the harder you pull on the chain between them, the tighter they get.
She put them right out at the end of my nipples (which were erect - damn my body responses) where they hurt the most. I couldn't believe what she did next! Lori tied a rope to the chain between them, and pulled the other end through the ceiling fan fixture. She pulled them up so that my breasts were not hanging in their natural position any more, but were pulled up toward the ceiling! Of course, I arched my back and pushed my chest up as far as I could, but it wasn't near enough.
What she did next almost made my heart stop. She took a kitchen knife, threw it down on the other side of the room and said, "You like this. Quit pretending you don't. You're the little slut - you come-sucking, pretentious Fucking BITCH!! GO TO FUCKING HELL!!!!"
Tears were just streaming down my face, and she poured my purse out, took about 50 bucks from my wallet, stuck in in her jeans pocket, and said, "The knife's on the other side of the room. When you're done having fun, just pull those things off, wiggle over there and cut yourself loose. See ya - I'm going to buy some more acid".
I heard her toss the keys down on the counter, walk to the living room, and walk out the door. SLAM!!
Ohmigod, I just hung there and cried. My tits hurt sooo much, and I could hardly feel my hands at all. I was alternately sobbing and screaming, but I knew the only chance I had was to try to pull the clamps loose from my nipples and get to the knife. I leaned back a little, and the pain just made me scream into the gag. Neither clamp moved at all. I figured that they might rip my nips off, but maybe if I did it all at once (kind of like taking off a Band-Aid). Deep breath - stop crying now - then LUNGE FORWARD HARD. For a second I just hung forward, my breasts holding up most of my body weight, with only one sensation - the pain in my breasts. Then SNAP-SNAP! They both flew off! I had no balance in my tied up condition, and I toppled to the floor front-first. I managed to hold my head up, and didn't hit my face on the floor, but landed with my entire weight RIGHT ON MY BOOBS!!. That hurt - first from the impact, then the inevitable stinging from the circulation returning to my nipples.
First, I just screamed - AAAAAAAAA!! AAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAA! over and over till I though my throat would burst. Of course, I doubt you could have heard me past the next room. Then I tried to roll over on my side to try to wiggle over to the knife. No good. My back hurt from being arched too much, and I couldn't do anything but wiggle a little in place. If the knife would have been right beside me, it wouldn't have helped, because my arms were numb from the elbows down.
That's when I gave up. Just broke down. I mean, I do self-bondage, and am very good at getting loose, but I had never been tied this tightly before and there was just no use to fight anymore. How could Lori do this to me? And what had I done to piss her off so much in the first place? She mentioned getting "more acid"... my god, was that it?? Was she tripping??? I just laid there and sobbed for what seemed like forever. What would people think when I was eventually found? I had all kinds of bondage toys in the townhouse, plus bondage magazines and pictures on my computer. Would they just think she had done something to herself that she couldn't get out of??? I just laid there and sobbed, accepting whatever fate was waiting.
That's when I smelled smoke. Oh-my gawd, no!!!!! What did Lori do???? I could handle alot, but dying in a fire while tied up on the floor????
Wait a minute - I realized that the smoke was pot smoke!! The floor creaked behind me and Lori's face popped around the corner into my room. "Had enough?" was all she had to say. I nodded like a kid going to Disneyworld. I was so happy to see her - weird, since she did all this to me in the first place.
She got the knife, cut the ropes that held my feet and my ankles together, and cut the elbow ropes. She left my wrists and ankles tied, though, and left the gag on.
"If I take the gag off, are you going to be quiet?" I nodded so much I could hear my brain jiggling in my head. "Are you going to give me my proper respect?"
More nodding. "Here's the deal, if you can be a perfect slave for the next 30 minutes, I will finish untying you, but if you can't, you go back in the hogtie and I will beat the fuck out of you, you snotty little stuck-up piece of white trash." And she took the gag off. "Is that okay with you?"
I could hardly speak - my voice was so hoarse from the screaming. "Yes, Maam" was the best I could do. She got a nice smile on her face.
I did not speak. My hands and feet were still bound, and I knew that she would have no trouble at all getting me hogtied again. She helped me roll to the middle of the room, got me standing up, tied a rope to my hair (!) and tied a rope from that to the light fixture. The next half hour was hell, and I was not allowed to scream, but I somehow managed to survive being beaten with my own flogger until my ass felt like it was on fire. I almost lost it again when she got a belt from my closet and hit my breast with it, but I thought my only chance was to do what I was told. She said, "Would you like another?"
When I hesitated, she whipped my back hard. "I said, would you like another?"
I managed a "Yes Maam, I'd like another, please". I got three on each breast before she let me down.
She put me on the floor, took her jeans off, squatted over me and PISSED ON MY FACE!!! I couldn't believe it! That's the only time I've ever had that done to me, and I hope it's the last. The rest was much easier - "Eat me out, bitch. You're not too good for that, are you Miss Perfect?"
I didn't know whether I was to answer yes or no, and she dropped all of her weight on one of my boobs, and started screaming at me again. "I KNOW YOU'RE A FUCKING LESBIAN, AND YOU THINK MY CUNT'S TOO GOOD FOR YOU???" She started waving the knife around my head yelling "LET'S GIVE YOU A NICE SHORT HAIRCUT AND SEE HOW PRETTY THE OTHER CUNT-LICKERS THINK YOU ARE, YOU FREAK!!!!"
I begged hard then - "Please let me eat your pussy. Please let me lick your cunt"... I talked dirtier than I ever thought I could.
The rest went easy. I didn't have any problem bringing her off several times, and she fell on the floor gasping. In a minute or two, she got the knife and cut my feet loose, then worked on my hands. They were so tight that it took her a minute or two, and they were still kind of blue for a minute after they were free. The next part just blew me away - she pulled me next to her, held me, and whispered "I knew you had it in you. Every woman does - it just takes more to bring it out of some people"
I didn't know what to do! I was so shocked, and still didn't know what had gotten into her! I was still so stiff and sore, she could have tied me up again easily if she would have gotten pissed off, so I didn't know what to say to her. I just cried. She just held me, and rocked back and forth, and took me through it in a way I couldn't have believed was possible. It turns out that she wasn't taking any drugs (except the pot she smoked while I was bound), and she just took the money as an added touch of realism. I would never want this to happen again, but I know I could be submissive now. The only thing that bums me out is my clothes that she ruined, but maybe if I can catch her offguard someday, I can even up the score:)
2001