In the end, she chose Eyes and that sealed her fate. She had no one else to blame for what happened to her. Sort Of Bald wasn't the type that would do anything more than make a few half-hearted gropes for her breasts, maybe after the kiss, maybe before. Leather would want to fuck her as soon as he got her outside - after buying a round of drinks, he would be keeping a tab. The Shitheads at the back table were out right away. Wolves traveled in packs and she didn't want to get eaten alive. Not by wolves, anyway.
So that left Eyes. She'd had absolutely no feelings toward him in the beginning, as he nodded at her reflection in the mirror behind the bar. He was a few seats over, also alone. It was early and she was still feeling the loneliness that had gotten her out of her apartment on a Thursday night - the night when she would normally meet the rest of the girls uptown at their usual bar. That dark, black cloud had been hanging over her for days now and she finally thought, fuck it, I'm breaking out of this rut. All the Thursday night outings with the girls accomplished was a hell of a hang-over the next morning.
Eyes hadn't even made a pass at her after Sort of Bald had made his futile stab at it - she wasn't turned off by bald heads, it was the Mamma's Boy tone in his voice that had ran his ass to the end of the line. Leather did his strut thing and she graciously drank the drink he'd bought her, but her distracted smile and cool body language wasn't lost on him - he was all about cool anyway. Eyes had watched the small procession come and go, every now and then sneaking a glance up at her in the mirror. About the second or third time their eyes met and locked, she felt a stirring inside, almost like a flash of lightning far off in the night sky. She waited for the rumble of thunder that followed and was met with warm butterflies in her belly instead.
They were blue. A piercing blue. Framed by dark black eyebrows and boyishly curly black hair, he nursed his Jack well. Just when the Wolves at the back table were getting her antsy, when she was getting ready to pay off the tab, the gin martini's making her feet feel like cotton balls, Eyes closed the gap between them and took the chair next to her.
This time when she found herself caught by his blue stare in the mirror, the butterflies took wing and her heart skipped a beat. She didn't believe in love at first sight. But wanting to fuck someone because he scared you wasn't a concept that she'd thrown away. Because he did scare her. Without a word, he'd caught her breath, maybe even captured her body at that point, she'd wonder later. Just his eyes, looking at her in the mirror over his tumbler of Jack.
And then he turned to her. And winked. Like a snake's tongue that flicks in and out before you're even aware it was there at all, his wink was there and then gone. Seconds later, he was gone too.
She stared at the empty stool beside her, at the mirror that reflected only her. Lonely her. Ice water trickled down her back and into her soul. Without thinking, she tossed a twenty on the bar and hurried out into the black of the night. There were only a few cars in the deserted lot, and only one with its engine running. Its headlights slid up and caught her like a fly on sandpaper. The engine growled and the car rolled forward. The gin got her to swaying then, and never before had she felt so vulnerable, caught between what she shouldn't do, and what she wanted so badly. The car, a black sedan, stopped beside her and the passenger window slid down. Eyes was leaning across the passenger seat, hand almost patting the leather cushion. She looked around, back at the bar, at her car sitting a few stalls away, and closed her eyes, listening to the beating of her heart.
Before she could stop herself, she reached for the door and opened it. Eye's hand slid away and the glint of metal caused her to stop from sliding in the passenger side. There was a pair of open handcuffs laying on her seat. In that moment, she had her last chance to get away, to go back to her safe life of Thursday's with the girls, and the requisite guy-flirting and guy-bashing. Back to a life of forty-five hour work weeks and Stouffer's TV dinners, and a cat that woke her at 2AM begging to be fed. Back to the rut.
Later, as she was trying to get her body in as comfortable a position as the cage would allow, she told herself that it was the right decision. He hadn't killed her, quite the opposite. He brought her back to life, brought her senses back from the dull thud of the mundane world. He brought her many delicious things to worry about, to fear, to crave.
But she didn't know that then. She was about to get into a car with a stranger who had already shown her the handcuffs she would be wearing. She had her chance. Reaching down, she picked up the handcuffs and slid into the passenger seat. Immediately the window went back up, charcoal black sealing off the world outside. She looked down at the heavy circles of metal in her hands, a smile trying to come - anything to break the moment, the insane moment. She looked at him. At his eyes. He smiled, a real smile, and once again, her belly betrayed her, filling her with warm ripples that got her heart skipping.
"I don't know how to-"
He put a finger to her lips and gently wrapped one of the cuffs around her left wrist. With a slight flick of his fingers and a few sharp metallic clicks, it was locked on. She stared down at her slender wrist encircled by something she'd only seen on TV. It felt as heavy on her wrist as it had holding it. She glanced nervously up at him and he leaned in kiss her. Heart thundering in her chest, she was slow to respond, still amazed at the insanity of it all, but when he finally pulled away, she was breathing hard and that warm feeling was searing her from the inside.
She took a deep breath and, eyes never leaving his, brought her other wrist into the open cuff. Slowly, he shook his head, a hint of amusement touching his eyes. With the same finger he'd used to silence her words, he made a turning motion. Her heart raced even faster. But she was already caught. The same force that had gotten her into this car and handcuffed, also made her slide in her seat and turn her back to him. But it was the loneliness and the feeling that her life needed to change, to go where she knew she wanted it to go, deep in her heart, and above all, it was her yearning for more, something beyond safe, something dangerous - that was what made her give him her other wrist behind her back and listen as the metal ratcheted home her helplessness.
Hands on her shoulders turned her around and she couldn't look at him now. Now that she was his to do with what he wanted. Now that she had given him so much, it was she who felt drained. His lips found hers and the power of his kiss brought her chin up. His touch on her breasts was gentle but firm, nothing like the clamps that were only a few hours away, and certainly nothing like the small whip that would leave their marks - but those things had their time and place and that was yet to come. For now, she was caught in the raw power of captivity, a giddy helplessness that was like pushing off the last step in the pool in the deep end and feeling the water envelope and consume, nothing now beneath your feet.
The collar would come later, as well as the first lessons of her new world. She leaned back into the seat as his car sped her away, eyes closed, hands still getting used to their new normal position, mind finally lost in a new feeling, a feeling very different than loneliness. She smiled and thought of all the things he could and would do to her.
12.09.02 update 04.06.07