Writer's Block
Or The Things That Stop You Writing A Story For Gromet
It is Saturday afternoon; the weather is warm and sunny with not a cloud in the sky and here I am trying to write this story on my laptop while sitting tightly bound to a chair on our verandah. But how had all this come about? Read on.
I’ve been told that sometimes words will not come even for the best authors. I do not claim to be any shakes as an author but this happened to me. I had a bet with Mandi that I could write another story for Gromet’s Plaza by the time we went to the party on Saturday night. I’d started it two or three times but the story just did not flow. Each effort ended up in the Recycle Bin.
When I got home after my usual Saturday morning visit to the mall Mandi reminded me that the deadline for the story was looming and I’d got nowhere with it. Then Mandi said that she thought she should chain me to my laptop until I finished it. Foolishly I said that her idea sounded like fun. That’s how I came to be sitting on the verandah stark naked and bound to a chair with my laptop on a table in front of me.
“I’m not releasing you until the story’s finished!” said Mandi as she trotted off, adding, “I’ll be back in a couple of hours, so get cracking – remember we’re going to a party tonight.” With that she left.
Typing was not too difficult; the short chain between the cuffs locked on my wrists gave me enough movement to reach all the keys on the keyboard. However I wished the chain between the cuffs and the rope round my waist had been a bit longer – at least I would have been able to scratch my itching nose. My ankles were tightly bound together and pulled back under the heavy chair. Another rope encircled my thighs just above my knees. Ropes round my waist, chest and over my shoulders held my body firmly against the back of the chair. There was no way I could reach any of the knots so the was no chance of me releasing myself. I would just have to stay like this until Mandi decided to return. Of course, to make things a little more uncomfortable, Mandi had filled my mouth with our biggest pear-shaped gag and buckled it as tight as she could at the back of my head. There was no way that I was going to push it out no matter how much I worked on it with my tongue or moved my jaw.
The house was quiet. I looked out over the peaceful green of the garden and towards the hills beyond. No time for admiring the scenery – I had to get on with the story. After a couple of false starts the ideas began to flow and the story began to take shape. It was not long before it was complete. I read it through, made a few changes and ran the spell checker. It was finished. It was then that I noticed something moving in the sky just above the distant horizon. Slowly the shape came closer. It looked like a dull grey ball. It was coming straight towards our house. It seemed to hover a couple of times. At last it was almost overhead. It hovered again then silently descended and landed in the middle of our garden. It must have been about 10 feet diameter and although it was perfectly spherical it did not roll on the sloping patch of greenery that we like to call our lawn.
Door opened and a ramp dropped down. Then two creatures emerged. I’d never seen anything like them before. Obviously they were some alien life form. They were nothing like the little green men that I had seen in movies. To start with they were a bluish-grey and tubby – their bodies were almost spherical. Not only that, they had four short legs and a pair of eyes in both the front and the back of their smooth egg-shaped heads. Both of them cautiously looked round the garden, jabbering to one another in singsong tones as they pointed to various features. I do not know where the singsong tones came from as neither appeared to have a mouth. Then the taller one, who was obviously the senior of the two, noticed me. He (or was it she?) pointed to me with the middle of his three arms. The singsong tones became more excited and both creatures started waving their arms about in obvious delight at having found an earth creature.
They set off in my direction with a sort of crab-like gait. I could feel my pulse rate increase. I was terrified. But as I was securely tied to this chair there was nothing I could do about it. Neither of my visitors was very tall. As they stood next to me their eyes were on about the same level as mine – and I was sitting down. They inspected me closely and prodded me with their stubby little fingers (they had three at the end of each of their rubbery arms). The taller one said something and pointed towards the spaceship parked in our garden. With that, the pair of them lifted up my chair and carried me struggling and protesting towards the ramp – the gag that filled my mouth meant the only sounds that came out were a series of ‘hmmmphs’.
The inside of their ship was considerably bigger than the outside – they must have borrowed the idea from Dr. Who and his Tardis! They set me down in a room near the ramp. The shorter of the two creatures left. He banged his elbow on the doorpost as he went and obviously was swearing in his singsong tones as he scurried off down a dimly lit corridor. A short while later a most imposing creature arrived. He was slightly larger than the others, was slightly bluer in colour and had a line of pink spots round his middle. He jabbered away to the others in singsong and then came towards where I was still protesting in a chorus of ‘hmmmphs’.
He looked me up and down and then, to my great surprise, said in perfect English: “I do not know your language but I hope you understand English. Welcome aboard our little ship. We will not harm you and shortly we will take you back to where we found you. But first we would like you to tell us about you people and the life you live here on your planet.”
He seemed a perfect gentleman and in a funny way I trusted him.
He went on: “But as you are one of a race that has a language I do not understand, please write down everything you can about your life, your creatures and your world. We have brought your communicator on to the ship so please go ahead. When you have finished we will, as you say, download it. After that we will take you back to your place. I must go now, but I will be back before you leave.”
I seem to have heard something very similar a short while before!
When NASA wanted a message to put on the Voyager spacecraft they got together a committee of learned souls who spent years discussing what should be put on the plaque. Now here was little me trying to write the history of this planet in 10 minutes for a group of aliens who came from heaven knows where. So I typed in all the facts I could think of as they came into my head – the population of the planet, the fact that there were people of all different colours in the world, the difference between males and females, the name of my pet cat, the problems the planet faces with pollution, global warming and the environment and so on.
My typing efforts were in full swing when the Boss alien arrived back with another one who I had not seen before.
“I hope you don’t mind but my Chief Scientist would like to check you over.” There was not much I could do if I did mind.
Gawd I wish that Mandi had not cinched the rope round my legs above my knees so tight.
The Chief Scientist prodded me with his chubby fingers. As he did so his fingers seemed to vibrate and send the vibrations deep under my skin. He poked his fingers in my ears, the muscles of my arms, in my navel and then my left nipple. The nipple went hard. He seemed to be surprised so he tried the same with my right nipple with the same effect. Then he repeated the dose podding both nipples at the same time. No caressing, licking, massaging or sucking of my nipples had ever resulted in such a wonderful feeling in my tits. His chubby little fingers moved on testing other areas, finally probing between my upper thighs. A surge of vibrations raced through my pussy and lit up my G-spot, clit and all those other wonderfully sensitive areas that a girl has. Realising that this was having a deep impression on me he left his hand there for a few seconds and a few moments later I had the most enormous orgasm. Jeepers, what else would a girl want in life if she had one of these aliens? His inspection over he left the room muttering to himself, leaving me coming down off a fantastic high and sitting in a very wet patch.
While this was going on the Boss alien had waved a small blue stick over my laptop and everything that I had just typed in disappeared. Turning to me he said, “Thank you, this information will come in very useful. We must leave now but if we ever come back to this planet we’ll be sure to visit you again. Then perhaps we can take you on a trip to see our world. I’ll get these two to take you home.” With that he turned and left.
The two aliens who had earlier carried me into the spaceship lifted me up and carried me towards the ramp. The smaller of the two again banged one of his three elbows on the doorpost and again swore in his singsong tones. They set me down on the verandah making sure that I was in exactly the same place that they had found me. I chuckled to myself as I watched them with their funny crab-like walk go back inside their ship. Seconds later the smaller of the two returned with my laptop. The last I saw of him was when his egg-shaped head popped out of the door followed by a small arm waving goodbye. The ramp rose and the door was closed. Without a sound the sphere lifted into the air, hovered for a few seconds and then flew off into the distance. Finally it was just a tiny speck vanishing over the distant hills.
I sat there trying to take in everything that had just happened to me when I heard the door behind me open. Mandi was back.
“I’m sorry I’m so late. How’s the story going?” She looked over my shoulder at the blank screen.
“Over three hours and you haven’t typed a word!”
I hmmmphed and tried to tell he what had happened. I must have looked like I was desperate to tell her something so she reluctantly unbuckled the gag. I excitedly told her all that had just occurred but you could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t believe a word of it.
“What a load of codswallop!” she exclaimed. She sniffed the air, “I think you’ve been playing with yourself all this time. But you’ve still got a couple of hours before we have to be heading for the party.”
With that she pushed the gag back into my mouth and buckled it even tighter.
So that’s why I’m still sitting on the verandah tightly bound to a chair and trying to write a story for Gromet.
Of course you believe me!
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25.11.06