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|Storycodes: Solo-F; M/f; rope; bfold; scarves; captive; bond; cuffs; leather; hood; tease; fantasy; slave; oral; sex; climax; cons; X||
|Decompression 5 Scarecrow Solo-F; M/f; rope; bfold; scarves; captive; bond; cuffs; leather; hood; tease; fantasy; slave; oral; sex; climax; cons; X|
|story continued from part four
Part FiveChapter 7
I check in my mirror as I drive out of the parking garage and I see Johnny's big dark blue Landrover Discovery following me. He's a big car man; big man in every respect. Solid, dependable and generous and I am delightfully, deliriously, desperately in love with him.
Me, on the other hand, I'm small, petite, and I love my little, bright yellow, Mazda MX5. I love driving my little car through the country-side. Top down, with a big silk scarf tied under my chin, Grace Kelly style, to cover my hair. Often I tie another silk scarf across my face, like the bikers do; big pair of sun-glasses to hide my eyes and I am off. I say it's to protect my skin but really I love the feel of silk against my face. That and being hidden, anonymous. I just drive for miles and miles. The other thing I really love is wearing a blindfold. Not when driving, of course!
As I drive I think back how my life has changed in just sixty hours. I made, what could’ve been, a mistake, a huge mistake. And yet, the best thing I've ever done and I don't regret a minute of it. I tricked that great big, lovable, man into kidnapping me. Oh, it wasn't a real kidnap; we both knew it was a game. For me it was a bit of fun, a way to break through his reserve and get him to notice me and fuck me.
A real challenge was John Adams. He’s one of the team leads on a big project with me. Very reserved was John, been divorced a few years and, obviously, still hurting. Always very polite, always ready to help, always available to do anything needed to keep the project moving forward. And utterly soulless. Oh I don't mean he didn't chat and joke and laugh with the rest of us but, a girl likes a guy to notice her, that she's got a good bod, that there's that little frisson of sexual tension and awareness that characterises any interaction between the guys and the gals.
But not with Mr. Adams. Nothing! It drove the other girls on the project crazy. They would drop a little hint, flirt a little bit and get absolutely no reaction. And he wasn't gay; there were a couple of gay guys on the team and they got exactly the same reaction. Nothing. I realised that, if anyone did get through to his armour-plated soul, he would crash big time so I told everyone to back off. 'Leave him until the project is finished.' I said. And I’ve got the key to the fortress.
A few years before I had bumped into this Marcie Adams. Poisonous bitch! She couldn't stop bad-mouthing her ex-husband John. It got so bad that her boss told her to shut up or she would get fired. Anyway, one juicy piece she dropped was that her ex was a kinky brute who liked to tie her up and fuck her. T.M.I! Except that, for me, it wasn't.
I have this lovely fantasy of being kidnapped, had it for years; since high school when I had my first real crush. Maths teacher; real hunk. Used to fantasise that he kidnapped me and tied me up and blindfolded me and took me away and ravished me. Swiped one of mum's silk scarves as a blindfold and played with myself 'till I came. First orgasm. Still get wet to that. Learned about self-bondage from the net and been getting myself off to it ever since. Never could trust anyone else to tell them or ask them to tie me up. Too personal; my little secret.
But, now I'm working on this project with Johnny Adams and I know he likes to tie up girls and fuck them and I want to be tied up and fucked so I set it up to see what he'll do. I've got my safety set up with Jane that, if I don't call her by midday on Saturday, she's to call the cops and tell them she thinks I'm in trouble. She thinks I’m nuts but she agrees to go along with it. I tell her it’s my fantasy and I’m sure it’ll work out. I don't tell her I know Adams is kinky or she'd never let me do it.
So at the project close-out party, I just check that John is not doing anything, not flying off to some exotic destination and he uses a word that says it all. He says he is just going to decompress. It's an expression used by divers, means taking a stop on the way up from a deep dive to let the body adjust. I know just what he means; this has been a high pressure project. But that's just what I want to hear, he doesn't have plans.
So I tell Jane that it's a go and I put my plan into operation. I call my plan 'Operation Bastille' from the French Revolution. Storming the fortress. She still thinks I'm crazy but she's a good friend and she's prepared to go along and be my safety. She drops me off at the gardens. I guess that should be 'The Gardens' with capitals 'cause they are really fancy. Big trees, koi ponds. Ha! Koi lakes rather. Must cost them a fortune, real conspicuous consumption to show off how successful they are. And nobody ever goes there. So, it's perfect for me.
I phone John and ask him to meet me there, want him to do something for me. I make it a bit mysterious; tell him 'No arguments and no questions.' I've got a piece of rope I use sometimes on myself, tie a handcuff knot in the middle and slip my hands through the loops, behind my back. Handcuff knot is a good one for self-bondage, holds tight, doesn't slip and can be cinched to make it secure. Bloody hard to get out off.
John gets out of his Disco and I turn and show him my hands. Tell him I want him to pull the knot tight and cinch it and tie the ends round my waist. I can tell he's wondering where this is going but I can also see his erection has jumped up and is pushing at his pants. Got his attention! So he pulls the rope a bit, I tell him tighter. I let him know when it’s right and he ties it off like I said. This is the moment and I wonder if I'm doing the right thing or is Jane right?
I tell him about the scarf in my coat pocket and say I want him to blindfold me. Definitely got his attention now! He does so, and he does it right; won't fall off and I can't see a thing. Now I'm so turned on I can't think straight! So the big schumck asks if he should just leave me like this, if this is part of a game for someone else. I tell him ‘No.’ and point out that I am now completely helpless and he can do what-ever he wants with me.
I am very scared and the fear just works to make me hornier. Even with Jane as my safety, this could go horribly wrong and I could be in deep, deep, trouble; but he's not stupid. He works out that I want him to kidnap me, that it's a game I want to play. So he kisses me and I cum. Not a big one but a definite orgasm. Just from being kissed! That and the vast sense of relief 'cause I know everything is going to be alright. That I was right to trust this guy.
He puts me in his car and drives me to his place. I've never been there, but I know the address, got it for Jane from his HR records. I'm so horny I can smell myself and, I bet, so can he! He walks me in and tells me to sit while he cleans the place up. How anal can you get? Here I am, all turned on and ready to fuck and all I can hear is the clink of dishes and him moving around and cleaning up. But I can't do much about it 'cause I'm tied up and blindfolded, but I want to scream at him to get on with it. I'm probably leaving a puddle on the chair.
Then he wants to know about safe-words and diseases and if he should wear a condom and I realise that he really does know what he's doing. That makes me feel safe. Really safe. I've put my trust in this guy, put myself totally in his hands and he's not going to abuse that. And finally he undresses me.
Before he takes my panties off he runs one finger over my body, very lightly but it feels like a line of fire where his finger has gone. He knows how to torment a girl! Then he leaves me standing there, just my stockings and heels and blindfold. And he still hasn't untied my hands and I know he's looking at me, admiring my bod. And I know it's a bod worth admiring. I'm proud of my bod and I work out to keep it in shape and I tell him so and he tells me to come to him. Just gives me directions once and leaves me to find him. Talk about pressure!
I do what he says and my leg bumps into his knee so I know I’ve found him. He parts my legs and pulls me forward with his legs between mine and I can feel he’s naked, then he pushes down a bit and I feel his cock touching my cunt and I just sit straight down. He’s as turned on as me and he fills me and it feels So Good! Then I start to pump up and down and I want to hold him and feel him but I can’t and the frustration is driving me onwards. And he works on me with his hands and his lips on my tits and my button and soon I cumming like there’s no tomorrow and I scream out loud and fall forward against his chest.
But he hasn’t cum yet so he pushes me upright and tells me to carry on and, though I just want to curl up in a little puddle of pleasure, I do. And he starts working on me some more and pretty soon I’m cumming again. And I scream. Again. But the bastard still hasn’t shot his load so I must work on him some more. But I know I’m done. I never cum more than twice. Usually only once; sometimes twice, but never more, so I know I’m safe when I bet him I can make him cum before I do. He wants to know what’s the bet, so I say that I’ll tie him up and torment him like he did me. And he says ‘What if you lose?’ and I tell him that he can keep me tied up. But I know I won’t lose.
So I start fucking him again and he’s working on my love button with his fingers and my nips with his tongue and, incredibly, unbelievably, the next thing I’m cumming again even more powerfully than last time. And while I’m still overwhelmed I feel him spurting deep inside me and, as I collapse, I hear him saying that he’s won. And he has won, and I’ve lost and I am lost and I don’t know how to handle this ‘cause I’ve never ever cum like that before. He holds me against his chest as his cock shrinks in my cunt and I’m feeling so warm and safe and nice and, even though he still hasn’t untied me or let me see, I’m drowsing against him and it feels so right.
After a bit he picks me up and carries me to the bathroom and then cleans me up with a warm wet cloth. This guy sure knows how to look after a woman ‘cause I leaked down my legs and it was getting a bit yucky. He tells me it’s time to get a bit more comfortable and I think he’s going to untie me and that makes me a bit sad ‘cause I’m enjoying being tied up and cared for. But he doesn’t. He buckles a pair of soft cuffs round my wrists and joins them with a short chain. And he’s done it so that, when he unties my rope, he can slide my top and bra of my hands where they’ve been since he undressed me.
It’s nice to have a bit of movement in my arms; shoulders were starting to ache. Then he makes me promise not to peek while he takes off the scarf blindfold and I promise but, when he unties it, I do try and peek and the bastard has me standing right against a wall so all I see is paint. And only for a moment ’cause, as soon as the scarf is off, he puts on a proper, padded blindfold that buckles at the back. Then I hear little clicks and he tells me he’s locked the cuffs and blindfold with little padlocks so there’s no-way I’m getting out. So I turn around and kiss him and tell him I don’t want to get out. He laughs and asks if I want to eat, but I had at the project party and all I want to do is sleep.
So he carries me to his bedroom and puts me to bed, just like I was a child, and then climbs in with me and I think ‘Oh, oh, here we go again’ but he just hugs and kisses me and goes to sleep.
Although it’s a bit unnatural with my arms behind me I soon fall asleep too.
* * *
When I wake up, it takes me a little while to work out what’s happening. Then I remember, I’m still in my kidnap fantasy and I start getting wet again. I’d expected it would be all over quite soon but he’s taking this very seriously and he reminds me that I lost the bet last night and I get all gooey thinking about those orgasms and I want more.
He lies me on my back and the chain holds my hands close against my sides and I still can’t see anything and then he pushes my legs apart and licks down my bod to my love button. His hands find my nips and his tongue is pushing in my cunt and he’s sucking my button and I’m thrashing around ‘cause I want to grab him and I can’t and I want him to stop and I don’t want him to stop and he doesn’t stop and I cum all over again. And I realise that this guy gets his kicks from making a girl cum. He really enjoys it and he’s bloody good at it.
So I reckon that if he’s tasted me it’s my turn to taste him and I ask him to free my hands so I can do a proper job but he laughs and clips them right together making it even harder for me. But I don’t give up so easily. He’s seen my bod but I’ve never really seen his so I go all over it with my tongue and lips. Maybe it’s different when you can’t see, but he is a big guy, well I knew that from seeing him in his work clothes, but he’s well-muscled too. He just lies back and doesn’t help at all and when I complain ‘cause I keep over-balancing and bumping my nose he just laughs and says I’m lucky he doesn’t tie my feet together too.
So, after going round and round the mulberry bush, I finally get to the main attraction and it's a nice size which I knew anyway 'cause I sat on it last night. And now I find out just how handicapped I am without my hands; all the little tricks I use to get a guy going are out. All I've got to work with is my mouth and my tongue and throat and I have to work bloody hard to do a half-decent job but I promise myself that, first chance I get, I'm going to show this guy a proper blow-job. And quite soon I get him to cum and he doesn't taste bad at all. So I lick my lips and put a smile on my dial and, maybe as a reward, he frees my hands and takes the blindfold off.
Now I'm half-expecting that he's going to say something like 'That was nice, shall I call a cab' but instead we share a shower and have fun soaping each other up in all the interesting places and then we have breakfast and I get to look over his house. And it's just what you'd expect from a guy without a woman in his life; comfy but nothing special. And you can see that someone has told him about autumn colours being warm 'cause the lounge is brown and green; the carpet is dark brown and the furniture is light brown and you can see that's how he thinks of them. And the bedroom is blue 'cause he's known forever that blue is a guy colour and the blues don't clash, but they don't click either.
And I think he's really into this kidnapper thing, you know? Ordering me around. But then I realise that this is him, decisive. Thinks it through and says what he wants and expects you to do it. What makes him a damn good team lead. I didn't experience it before 'cause we're different tracks and I'm a level up from him but I find it impressive. And so I say something about that and how I quite like it in a funny way 'cause I'm used to giving the orders and he says I can leave any time I want. And I surprise myself 'cause I get all teary and I don't want him to kick me out 'cause it's happened to me too many times before and I jump in his lap and grab him tight and say I don't want to go. Don't know what's happening to me; normal reaction is when a guy says go, I go. Put a smile on the dial and outa there and cry when I get home. But not this time! Don't want to go.
And he handles it beautifully. This guy is good. Holds me and calms me down and laughs it off with a joke about Stockholm Syndrome. Breaks the tension so everyone's fine and no-one's embarrassed. Brilliant!
So then he reminds me I'm his captive. Says I've been free too long and sends me off to get some stuff from his toy box. So I scoot off to get it and I open his toy box and my eyes nearly fall out. Never seen so much good stuff! Seems he's got it all, there's hoods and blindfolds and gags and collars and cuffs and just about everything you can think of to tie someone up. Bondage heaven!
So I grab a whole bunch of stuff and go back to the kitchen and just about blow it 'cause I make a remark about Marcie saying he had some stuff but I didn't know how much. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He freezes. Seriously pissed! Wants to know if I've been talking to his ex. So now I have to think really, really, fast. And I decide the only recovery is truth. Tell him was a few years ago. Haven't see her since. Don't think she's a nice person at all. My turn to calm him down. So then he's trying to work this out in his head and he finally figures out that my kidnap scene yesterday wasn't an accident and I knew he was kinky and he can't really believe I would set it up like that. Men are so dense sometimes!
So I tell him about my kidnap fantasy and that I knew he likes to tie girls up and fuck them and I wanted to be tied up and fucked and he gets on the safety thing and I tell him about Jane. Which reminds me I must phone her, so I do. Tell her everything has gone according to plan and 'Operation Bastille' is a success. Girl sounds quite jealous! So then he's giving me the third degree again, thinks the whole team knows he's kinky and I have to reassure him all over again. Tell him it was my idea and I wanted to get in first before any of the other girls got him into their pants. Big lummox has no idea how sexy he is and his jaw literally drops. Quite sweet, really.
When he eventually gets his head around all this he wants to see what I brought and we bring through his whole toy box and he's got more stuff that he fetches and then he goes into lecture mode. He's obviously quite experienced; I've seen pics on the net but I've never handled most of the stuff and it's a real eye-opener. There's a beautifully crafted set of nip and clit clamps in silver that really gets my fancy. Seen things like this on the net. Never used them but I sit and play with them a bit, don't try them on, just think what they must feel like and those thoughts get me going. Again. More. What-ever. Seem to have been in a constant state of arousal since he kidnapped me in The Gardens.
It's strange. His house is so neat and clean, everything packed just so, looks like a show-house, not a place that's been lived in, but his bondage gear is a mess. And he explains that lots of it's never been used. He bought it 'cause he fancied it but didn't have anyone to use it on, or use it on him; and I think 'Ah ha!' And I ask him if he's a switch, if he likes to be tied up as well as tie someone up, and he gets all confused and never answers the question. Which is answer enough! Some of this stuff will look really good on him and I am still determined to show him what I can do with my mouth.
So now we've got most of the gear sorted and I'm hoping that he'll let me stay around long enough to try out every single piece, either on me or on him. And then he brings out a couple of strait-jackets; one is definitely his size and one looks like it'll fit me, so I hold it against myself to check and it looks the right size and I'm about to say I want to wear it when he pulls something out that just screams at me.
It is so beautiful that I just have to wear it. It's soft, soft leather and it's bright shiny red and it's got arms that end in closed mittens and a closed hood with just breathing holes, no eye or mouth openings, and it just looks so damn sexy and I want to put it on. Now! So I tell him and I say please and finally he agrees though I can see he doesn't think I can handle it 'cause it's a serious piece of kit. And then his eyes light up and he says only if he can put the silver clamps on too and I think 'What the hell, how bad can they be?' I want to wear that red thing so I say yes and he puts it on me.
It's a bit small but that's okay 'cause the leather stretches and it makes it nice and tight. So I push my arms down the sleeves and, at the end, my hands fold up into fists, no fingers and no thumbs so my hands are useless. And I struggle a bit to get my head in but there's a zip at the back and the hood comes down and I can't see anything nor hear much. He fiddles around to make sure the breathing holes are positioned right and then he closes the zip and I'm in heaven. He's pulled my hair up in a pony-tail that comes out at the top and the hood fits tight, like a second skin and I can't even open my mouth and it's completely and utterly dark in there. No light at all. And then he does up the buckles on the cuffs at my wrists and elbows and the neck collar and I know there's no-way I can get out by myself And I almost cum, just from that thought, I'm so turned on!
And then he says he's going to lock the buckles and I can feel the clicks as the padlocks engage and I'm even more stuck and then he pulls my arms behind my back and he locks my hands together. He pulls my elbows together but I'm not quite flexible enough for that so he fixes them a few centimetres apart. And I'm done, and I love it. I just love the way it feels and the way I must look and it feels so good and I'm sure he's going to fuck me now and I can't wait for him to fill me.
But I've forgotten the clamps and suddenly my left tit is on fire! It is so sore! But the fire goes straight to my cunt and makes me even more aroused. And then I can feel him dragging the next clamp across my skin to the other tit and I think 'Oh no!' And I know what's coming and then both tits are on fire and my cunt is dripping. And then he takes the third clamp and I know this is going to be unbearable and he starts to drag it down my bod so slowly and now I'm scared, really terrified 'cause I know this is going to be the worst. So I try to pull back but he jerks the chains and the fire in my nips roars and I know I can't escape. And I hate what he’s doing to me, but I love what he’s doing to me and I love how I’m reacting to it. And then he get to my poor little love button and it explodes and I cum and cum and cum. And it's like nothing I've ever known before 'cause the fire and the pain and the pleasure all twist together into something indescribable. And I can feel he's holding me as the fire roars through my whole body, burning and purging and filling me ‘til I want to explode.
And I really love how he’s handled me and I find I love him for what he’s done. So I’m expecting he’ll free me now cause I’m done but he doesn’t. He says something about it not being real bondage until you want out and you can’t. And then he puts me down on my knees and he cuffs my legs together and fixes my hands to my ankles so I can’t move and now I’m getting used to the clamps. They’re sore but okay and I can take it ‘cause I have to take it ‘cause I have no choice and I’m beginning to understand what he meant. And then he takes one clamp off and my tit explodes all over again. And then I wait and I’m hoping that he’ll take the clit one off next cause that is really starting to hurt but, of course, he doesn’t. So my other tit explodes with pain as the blood rushes in to my poor, crushed nipple and I know what’s coming for my clit and I want it ‘cause it’s sore but I don’t want it ‘cause it’s going to be more sore and I realise I don’t have a choice. He’s in complete control and he’ll take it off when he wants to and I can’t do anything about it.
And then he gives the chain a little tug and I jump but he still hasn’t taken it off. The bastard is really torturing me and I hate it and I love it and I’m so confused. And then he takes it off and it’s as bad as I knew it would be but I nearly cum again. But I don’t.
And now I’m waiting for him to free the rest of me and I’m waiting and waiting and I give a grunt ‘cause that’s all I can do with my mouth pressed closed by the hood. So he gets up and leaves. I can hear him walking away and I totally lose it. You can’t really throw a tantrum when you’re all tied up but I give it my best shot! I scream. I swear. I curse. I jump up and down and shake and I must look ridiculous ‘cause nothing moves more than a few centimetres. And eventually I figure out that I’m getting nowhere so I calm down to wait him out.
And then the bastard pushes my knees apart to open my legs like a slut and he pulls me up so I’m kneeling straight and I can feel the pull between my hands and ankles and he says ‘Posture’ loud in my ear. And I think ‘Fuck that!’ and I pull my legs closed and slump back down on my heels. So he does it again, legs open, back straight and ‘Posture.’ But I’m not having any. Closed and slump. So he puts a clamp on my tit and the fire in my nipple convinces me I don’t have a choice so I’m up and my legs are open wide and he takes the clamp off and I hold the position.
And now I’m so angry with him I want to spit! But after a while I begin to understand. He’s in charge, he’s the kidnapper, he’s in control and he’s controlling me ‘cause he can and I understand that this is what I want, what my kidnap fantasy is all about. I want someone to control me sometimes. I live alone and I control my life and I do everything for myself but sometimes I want to give up that control. To let someone else control me; to give up all responsibility. And it’s an epiphany for me. He’s stripped all control from me, he’s taken it all and there’s nothing I can do about it. He’s taken all the options away from me. I don’t have a choice. And I don’t want to have a choice. He wants me to hold his position and I want to hold that position because he wants it. And it feels crazy to me but it also feels so right. And I love him for showing me who I am and what I want. So I kneel up straight with my legs apart like a slut and I will hold that for as long as he wants. ‘Cause I don’t have a choice!
So I’m blind and dumb and almost deaf and my knees are hurting, even though he put something soft under them, and my shoulders ache but I hold and I wait for I don’t know how long. I’ve no sense of time. Just waiting. And happy. Happy to be waiting. And then, at last, he calls me. Tells me to come to him. Like last night. So I walk forward on my knees and he tells me where to go and when I get to him he unlocks and unbuckles and takes everything off and, in a strange way, I’m quite sad to be out. So I climb into his lap and say ‘Thank you.’ ‘cause it was an incredible experience and I think it’s probably all over now.
But he surprises me again. He tells me to get dressed ‘cause we’ve got to go to my place to pack some stuff I’ll need staying here for the next couple of weeks while we’re on vacation. And I’m so happy he isn’t ending it that I rush off to get dressed. He’s straightened and folded my clothes from last night and they’re on his bed. As I go he calls out ‘No underwear!’ so I waggle my bum at him and it makes me feel so sexy that he wants me dressed like that.
It’s only when we get to my apartment building that it hits me. I can’t let him see my flat. It’s a mess! He keeps his place so tidy, ‘Neat as a pin.’ My gran would say. My place looks like a bomb hit it. So I joke and say maybe I should blindfold him so he can’t see what a mess it’s in but he just carries on and says he can deal with mess. And we get inside, and I look at it with his eyes, and it’s worse than I thought, and I’m so embarrassed. But he just looks around and asks if I’ve got any food and when I nod ‘Yes’ he tells me to make lunch while he starts to clean up ‘cause we can’t leave it like this for the next two weeks.
And then he starts to tidy up. And I’m gobsmacked. Nothing seems to faze this guy. Now, maybe I’m not so good at keeping house but I can cook. Mum made sure of that! So I make a simple pasta with cheese sauce and a green salad and he really seems to appreciate it and then we carry on and eventually it’s done and he decides the place is fit to be left empty for a while. I ask him what I should pack and he says what-ever I want for a couple of weeks though I shouldn’t expect to be wearing much around the house but we will go out sometimes. And no underwear! So I pack my sexiest and most feminine stuff. Stockings and garter-belts, not panty-hose. A couple of little black numbers with plenty of cleavage in case he takes me out at night and light cotton dresses for daytime, the kind of thing that’ll show my nipples ‘cause no bra. All eye-candy! He wants sexy with no underwear? I’ll show him sexy!
And I make sure he sees that I’m not packing any underwear, that I’m following orders. But I don’t let him see one set as I pack it. It’s a dominatrix outfit I got for a Halloween fancy-dress last year. There’s a cat’s eye half mask and a corset that covers only half my tits, just over the nipples and a tight, short skirt and high heel boots that come half-way up my legs. The whole number. All black leather. Sexy as hell and showing lots of skin. I slide it in while he’s doing something else and I hope I can keep it hidden until I’m ready to spring it on him.
So now I’m packed and I grab my laptop and we’re ready to go and I still can’t really believe it is all happening and he hasn’t run like all the others do. And in the car he starts asking about my bondage experience. So I tell him what I do and how I do it and he seems quite impressed that I don’t do anything stupid or unsafe. He’s big on safety. And that takes me to the difference between self-bondage, which I’ve done and bondage and this weekend’s been a first experience of that for me and I ask what he calls that hood and sleeves he put me into. So he says he doesn’t know what it’s called, he just calls it ‘The Red’ for its colour and I say we can’t call it that ‘cause ‘Red’ is my safe-word and he thinks for a bit and then says call it ‘The Ferrari’ as it’s Ferrari Red and I love the idea ‘cause people won’t think I’m crazy if I say ‘I love my Ferrari’.
And he asks if I do love my Ferrari and I go all gooey thinking about the experience and start talking about how it affected me and what I felt and not having any choices and by the time I’ve run down we’re back at his house and he has taken me inside and I never even noticed. But he says I do have a choice ‘cause I can safe-word any time. But I can’t ‘cause I’m afraid that, if I safe-word, he’ll end it all and kick me out and I don’t want to be kicked out ‘cause I’m falling for this guy big time and I don’t know how to handle it. He’s so different to anyone I’ve ever dealt with before and he doesn’t react like any of the other guys I’ve known and I am all off-balance.
So I work up the courage to ask him what he’s going to do. Is he going to break my heart like all the other guys have done and he holds me and he kisses me and he promises that he won’t and I burst into tears and I hold him and hold him ‘cause I so want that to be true.
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story continued in part six
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